Believing

When you find yourself being excited because you have someone who is willing to find any means necessary to talk to you, when they are in a difficult situation, you know your relationship with them has reached another level. I feel good knowing that’s what I got. I used to long for things like that to happen to me. Knowing I am able to really see it and know that the person isn’t going any where, and is trying to be there for me, I feel really good.

A Day’s Work

Today, I have been editing over my stories. Man, editing sure does suck. I still can’t believe I didn’t trash Genuine Commitment. Instead I managed to publish it. I guess God had other plans for my stories. Normally, I would have just trashed the whole thing. Now, it’s a book. You can get it on lulu.com/katrinataylor63. As I’m going over these stories there is so much I didn’t realize which didn’t need to be changed. I guess I really have gotten better as a writer.

Happiness all around!

I am feeling mighty good. I have done a great job with my stories. Knowing I was able to self publish and not have to break myself in half to get the money to live my dream is well worth it. I am really happy about what I have been finding out these days. I am glad things are going so well. I’m so ready for school. I’m also ready to see where I will be taken in life. I wish I could see if I would end up with that loving family of my own. Maybe one day I will find out. I’m just thinking. Don’t worry I’m not planning anything.

Victory

I am feeling mighty great. I have completed Together Again. It’s officially 50,773 words. I am very proud because I didn’t think I could do it a second time. I went through it, and I feel mighty great. I love being a writer. I have been putting a ton of emotion into these words, and knowing I can share it with others, makes me very excited and happy.
It’s a story which makes me proud like all my others. Yet, I have gone on a journey with it of understanding what being a couple means. I am learning something new with each new story I write. I feel mighty happy.

Right Back

I took two days off from working on my novel. I got some time to relax and to watch my baby sis enjoy her birthday. Things are going great. I am back to working on Together Again, and I’m already at 39,943 words. I feel pretty good. I know it’s just a little bit of words. Yet, I am so close to 50,000 words. I don’t want the story to be too long. I want it to be just enough to make it good.
I don’t want it to drag on. I think this story has a lot of potential in it. I think when other people read it, they might be able to relate or maybe they may just think it’s garbage. whichever way, I still love what I wrote. Who cares what the haters think right? Anyway, I am having a marvelous time writing in my journal.
I have started journaling again. I am doing pretty good with it. Now I just have to keep up with it.

Happiness

Over the years, I have found different places to write. I have used a lot of social media as well. I have noticed I still come back to typing on my computer and hand writing. I have thought about so much stuff. Life happens to you, and you get carried away. You want to sit down and write it all down. Well, that’s what I do anyway. I have done tried and tried to get over things that have happened to me. Yet, even though the days go on, and they leave the front of my mind, when new obstacles come, which start to resemble the past mistakes, I still get nervous.
I want to fall apart. I want to break down and cry. I want to just wallow in the sorrow that’s before me. I have come to understand once you get those special people around you, who actually want to be there for you, and who are actually for you, there’s a change in you. You start to feel more powerful. You aren’t constantly wondering when something bad is going to happen. You just start to go with the flow. I’ve becoming really good at it. I have been all over the place.
Lately, I have started doing the CampNanowrimo as you already now. I am on day 7 and I have already gotten farther then what I thought I would. I’m proud of myself for actually trying to do this. Of course there is a lot of editing that will need to be done. I’m happy and excited about what I can do. There are things I remember from my teachers past. Going into college, here soon, I am wondering what my experience is going to be like. I wonder if I am going to end up pushing myself over the edge like I did in high school to get to where I wanted to be.
I have always tried to take everything I do seriously. Even when I am just singing on the smule sing! app for Karaoke I take it seriously. I love singing, but I know I’m not the best. Even when I am sitting at a desk listening to the teacher lecture or tell us about something we should really pay attention to, I want to get the full extent of it. I had a former teacher, who is a very good motivator and friend to me who told me, “You are your biggest critic.”
When she said that, to me at first I knew she was right. I knew because of the way I did my work. I always wanted it to be right. Everything for school had to be the way it was supposed to be. I’ve come to learn since I have left high school, the little stuff I do for fun, I still want it to be a success. I am so wrapped up with things I can burst. Of course that’s just my opinion. Back then, I was just waiting for my head to explode.
I used to think one day, it was going to be way too much, and I was going to end up in the hospital because of what I was doing. Back then I would try to only eat twice a day. I wasn’t too much of a breakfast person, and lunch I just went all out. For me, school was my safety. It was my place away from all the happenings of the place I lived. I know my family thinks I was one of those who was just being selfish and everything else.
That wasn’t true. I knew that when I was home, my anger was really bad. I knew when I was in school, everything I really wanted to do was at my fingertips. I liked being able to go to the library in the morning. I liked being in the hallway, and class talking to my friends. I generally liked being in school. Granted there were some days, when I was feeling like any other teenager, where I didn’t want to be there. Of course, it soon faded when something amazing happened for me at school.
There have always been good and bad days. For the past two years, I have been going back and forth amongst my family trying to make myself feel happy. Granted I do love my cousins. Yet, I didn’t want to babysit my whole life. I liked working at the daycare I was working at. Yet, I’ve always wanted to be a writer. Everyone likes to tell me, you won’t make money. You need a real job. You have to be able to take care of yourself. I do take care of myself. I’m still on this Earth aren’t I?
Of course I didn’t ever say that out loud. I am loved. I have actual happiness. Granted, being in school gave me happiness. Right now I am in the mode of happiness. I am so close to getting everything I want. I have a happy, and healthy relationship with my dad. I have a happy, healthy and loving relationship with a man, and I am getting ready to go to school. I am going to major in the arts and do what I do best. I’m going to work hard at school, and make sure I can get a degree to be an English teacher and also a writer.
I know you don’t have to have a degree to be a writer. I know there is a whole lot of business to it too. I just know I love the way my life is. I know you guys are probably wondering why I’m saying all of this. It’s only because for some strange reason today I felt like letting go. I felt like letting go of all the negative I have felt. All the things which seem to cloud up my mind a lot.
I create stories from my life like any other author. I wish I was one. I know I have to work my way to get there. I have been doing research about it for years. I love Maya Angelou, Charles Dickens, J.K. Rowling, L.M. Montgomery, Robert Frost, and a ton of other greats. I love to read and write. It just so happens, I am not giving up. There are people who may not like me, or who do. That’s something they will have to deal with.
If there is one thing that my high school did teach me was no matter how “hoodbridge” we were, we always knew what we wanted in life. I am proud of that. I may not be up in my years, but I have seen, heard and learned a lot from things I’ve done. I’m just feeling really happy today, and I just felt like talking. Sorry if this was too much to read. Thanks for actually reading it though. It takes a lot of guts to post your troubles.

Almost There

I know I have usually been talking about how life is, and how my stories are going. That’s usually what my life consists of. Sorry for the confusion if you thought otherwise. I have finally found love. No, I don’t mean the puppy love. I mean the love that makes you think its going to last. The love that makes you feel all tingly inside.
As I have been working on Together Again and when I was working on Genuine Commitment, my relationship with my boyfriend has gotten stronger. I have been opening up to him a lot more. Granted we’ve been truthful since we’ve been together. The difference now is we are a lot more in the stages of smiling, laughing and saying I love you all the time.
Yet, I’m having one of those days where everything I normally do right, I’m doing wrong. I’m just having one of those days. Yet, knowing I have love is making me smile. Having that happy moment linger in front of my head, seems to make me forget about all the wrong I’m doing. I just got to brush it off, and keep moving.
With these two novels I have been working on, I have been using my relationship as a drive to keep me up on these two stories. See, normally when I’m working on a romance story, I’m single. I’m usually just freaking out and going nuts about when I’m getting it done. Right now, everything is different. I’m not freaking out, and my stories are coming out easy enough for me to edit them.
Editing is the hard part. I know I have to do it though. Rewriting will be easy. I’ll be able to put my story back together piece by piece. Which I quite do love the process of. I am going to take the rest of the process very easy. For right now I am going to work on finishing Together Again. I want this story to be just as good and juicy as Genuine Commitment.

It’s the first Tuesday in July

Happy belated 4th of July to everyone. I hope you all enjoyed it. Well yesterday I wrote 15,121 words. Today I have written 17,063 words. I am feeling really good about it. I only have 2,932 more words to go before I am at 20,000. I am very pleased with myself. I may be at work, but I feel happy. I know answering phones may not seem like a great job. Yet, it’s quite a good thing. You get to learn how to communicate with people.
When the customers come in, and I get to meet them, I feel a little better. The ones who actually sit in the office with me, and talk with me, make me feel ecstatic. It’s because we actually get to talk. We communicate like we are normal people. You don’t always get that around here anymore. There are so many people filled up with anger and hatred.
I have been learning a lot about life, in my short time of being on this earth. I have learned you can’t always trust people. Even though you may trust, you have to always watch your back. There is so much going on here, and it’s like you can never catch a break. I think it’s best if we just keep pushing on. I think that’s the best way to go with this.
I know what you’re thinking. “She’s only 22 years old, she doesn’t know the struggle we go through.” Contrary to what you might think, I do pay attention. I listen and try to watch what happens. I do listen when people tell me something. It may not be in the form of how they want me to use it, but they do get used eventually.
I am not very skilled, but I do try to learn something new everyday. I am a big reader and I find out new things all the time. Everyone is just trying to get where they need to be in life. I think it’s great that we are all still trying even though we have those haters who like to say otherwise.

Scattered

This morning I got up at 2am. I have no idea why. I got back up at 6, and got ready for work today. It has started off as a normal work day. I have started #CampNanowrimo. It’s going pretty good so far. I have gotten to 1,265 words so far. I think I am doing good. I changed my word count from 50,000 to 20,000.
I figure if I start out small, I can work my way up. That’s how you do everything else in life. I am a little tired, but there’s nothing like a little mountain dew to get your spirits up. I am hoping this story will be a great one. I know I probably say that about all of my work. Of course I usually put my all into all my stories, and I expect for them to come out the way I want them too.

Love and Feeling

I’m feeling lively.
I’m heading into college.
Work is still work and that’s how it will be.
Life is going better than what I thought.
I may not go out like other adults.
Yet, I like being home.
I like being able to be free in my own skin.
That’s what I like to do.
I write, read, listen to music, and work.
I do what I need to do.
I love having my life the way it is for right now.
I finally found love that’s good for me.
I don’t have problems too much.
I may have utter frustrations with my writing, but I’m happy.
I like being happy.
I like knowing I can smile.
I love being able to come up with new ideas for new stories.
I’m even getting back into writing outlines.