There is so much which needs to be done in the coming weeks. I am so excited and nervous. I am going to start the process of posting Tangled and Challenged on Goodreads and Wattpad. I have come to understand if I want to be noticed I need to put myself out there. I am preparing myself for all the things I want to do. I am still taking practice tests for me to be able to get my license. I know it seems silly, but I am taking this very seriously. I am also going to pay for my college application too. I am glad I can get the chance to try again. I am glad I will be doing something I love. I have missed being in a classroom. I think it’s been too long. Of course, that could just be because of life. Any who, I am really excited about the book I just finished reading on Wattpad.
Her book was published. The book is called The Billionaire’s Hired Girlfriend. It’s by Alexia Praks. Her books are amazing. I could really feel the tension in this book. At times you may hate the way some of the characters react, but that’s what makes it such a great read. I hope you all can check it out. You can go to Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble and other places to find the book. It’s really incredible.
I have been reading a whole lot. I have been doing research about what those my age do. I am so far off that list. I wish I was at those steps. I know I have to keep waiting and just keep moving forward. I am going to give all I’ve got.
With all the time I spend on Wattpad, I never thought to check and see what books were on goodreads. I just finished logging in the books I’ve read. I have completed my 40 book reading challenge. I know throughout the rest of this year I will read more than that. I just know I may slip up with logging them in. I am hoping to do better. I now have 69 followers on Wattpad.
It makes me very happy to know that. I am starting to understand what it means to be by yourself. Of course, it still sucks in my opinion. That’s just my opinion. I am still learning as much as possible. I have been doing a lot of Khan Academy. I like being able to get back into doing better with my math. I am also going to start working on my grammar too. We all know how that can be. Wish me luck! I’m still going to try though.
I know it’s been a while. I have stopped writing for a little while. I am just now starting to get back into it. I never did finish putting Together Again into a notebook. I am working on that as we speak. I am taking a little break just to type. I have missed seeing the reactions of what I have said. Lately, I have been thinking about all the people I have met in my life. I have been thinking about them because I have noticed how much I have changed in the course of the past going on three years. I once was a doubtful but strong person. These days I seem lost and at a stand still. I do like the way my life is, don’t get me wrong.
I just had other things planned when I had mapped everything out. Of course over the years I have had to learn what I want to happen, is not going to happen. With the way my luck goes, I’m surprised I have managed to keep myself on Earth. God has always been there and kept me on my toes. I know there are many who will question why I have said many things. I am saying these things because it’s the truth. I have put myself through a whole lot. I don’t know if it was just because I couldn’t get myself to deal with what was going on at the time or because it really was too much. I hope one day I will be able to figure it out myself.
Until then, I will continue to put myself through as much feelings as possible I guess. I look up sometimes and I wonder why I am still standing. I think it’s because God wants me to be here. He puts us in situations and lets us do what we want to do, and he helps guide us out. I have been thinking about a person God kept putting in my life. With this person he made sure he was there at the time he was supposed to be. I used to think the Devil had some work in it too. I mean there was always something going wrong when this person came back in my life. I just kept pushing myself to look past it. I think it was because God knew I could see the good in them.
Even now when I think of this person, I think about all the stuff I have been wanting to tell them. I start to remember a person is usually in your life for a season. When I think about it, the reason this person was around as much as he was, was because it was the season. This person knew how to get me to think and have fun. They knew how to get me to relax and focus on what I wanted. It’s something I have lost how to do. I know I have been living but the thing is I haven’t been completely about myself. I learned a long time ago what I want has to be put on the back burner. It gets put on the back burner because I need to survive.
If I want to follow my passion there is always going to be a consequence. I look at the stories I read on Wattpad and a lot of them are by teenagers. It makes me feel bad a little because I remember all the things I wrote which won’t ever be seen. At the time I wrote those stories, I didn’t know about Wattpad. I keep thinking if I had those, then I would feel fulfilled. It’s because I had made plans with everything I had written and what I was doing about my schooling. I know I will have to push myself. I know I am not the smartest and I will have to work hard. That’s one thing I have always been good at.
I know it seems all my thoughts are scattered but I promise they meet up in the middle. As doubtful as I have always been, this one person always knew how to get me to see that I was put together. They made me think about what I have accomplished and what I can do. I have always told myself the negative to help boost myself. I knew what my life was and is, and I know it won’t change in a blink of an eye. The real world has really ate me and spit me out. I know some will counteract it and tell me I’m wrong but they don’t see the world from my eyes. I know there are people who have been in my situation but they aren’t me, and I’m just telling my views.
I am very pleased with myself right now. I am redoing my Wattpad page. I have decided to post my poems as if they were a book. I am also going to be posting my songs too. I am nervous about it, but I’m sure everything will be fine. I am proud to see how the NaNo Hop has made things better. I am very thankful for all the new followers I have. I love all of you and I commend you on the journey we have taken together. Writing a novel is not easy and being able to try and do it in one month is definitely not easy. It’s still fun to try though.
I am glad we have a place where we can each share some of ourselves. Congratulations to everyone who participated in NaNoWriMo. It taught me a great deal. I think I will be doing it again in April. I just have to work out what I’m going to write about.
I am feeling thankful today. I am glad I have God and my family in my life. I’m actually glad to be alive. I donated $20 to a lady who was trying to earn money for children in other countries. I was very happy to do it. I know there could be a possibility where something will happen to me, and I could end up with nothing. I think it’s great we can actually give to others. I know I have been out of the loop on music of the now, and the fact. “I’m getting old.” Yet, I have noticed this world is still dealing with the racism. It sucks that it’s going on.
I guess they forgot what Martin Luther King Jr. wanted. I am glad for his I Have a Dream speech. There are so many people I have looked up to who are black and white. I love the person I am. I love that I am black and we have a history. There is a ton of things to find out. I just hope one day it will all be squashed and we can live in peace. Of course there were many people who died for us to have what we do. We have the power to change the world and all we can do is complain. Black lives do matter and so do everyone else’s. I have come to know a lot in my short life. I’m not saying everyone is racist, but you got to know Blacks deserve to be here just as much as whites.
The old ways were fine back then. It doesn’t mean we need to bring it back. I don’t think they need to be banning certain books about color. They really shouldn’t be trying to ban the Bible. It really bothered me the other day when I was on my lunch break and saw them talking about it on The Real. I just hope if even though you don’t like me, you can relate to the words I have said.
Well, I have been pretty busy. I was even busy during NaNoWriMo. Things have been pretty good. I have managed to find myself single again. Even with that, I am still standing tall. I am still working and trying to get myself together. I still mess up, yet it’s not everyday. I am glad about that. The editing of my story is being easy. I think it’s easy because I was doing some editing as I was writing. I was glad I got to 50,000 words. I just hope I can keep up with myself. There is a ton of things I want to get done. I’m just hoping I can do it all.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! It’s been a great day. I have eaten a whole lot today. I am still adding onto my novel. I want it to be good. I don’t want to feel like I left anything out. This story is supposed to make me feel even better than most of the other ones I have written. The whole story pulls you in. That just may be my opinion. I just want to see something great come out of it. I wonder if maybe I am trying too much. I know that happens a lot. Well, at least I have said all my piece in it. I love knowing I have gotten this far in my writing to do this. It doesn’t mean I am done yet. It’s just been some time since I wrote my last autobiography.