Calmness from a storm

      There are things that happen which cause us to lose our head. I was talking to my best friend yesterday. She was trying to get me t understand I need to just let it out. She knows I will explode soon. I know she is right. I just don’t feel like dealing with the after effect.
      I know there are things which I have hid. I get so mad for certain events. Yesterday I got blasted, well talked on at work. I know its the work place and I shouldn’t explode. I didn’t. I didn’t even say anything the whole ride home. When I got home, that’s when I called my best friend.
     It sucks when you are in a space where you get mad about things and don’t stand up for yourself because you are afraid others will find out about the wrong you have done. That is my biggest fear. I hate that there are people I know who would want to blow up stuff in my face because they are mad at me.
     There are decisions which need to be made. I feel like I am going out of my mind. I try to calm myself down, yet I find myself going to sleep angry. I am angry at myself because if I say something its all going to blow up in my face. I know that’s why I hide behind my writing.
     My writing helps me release it all. I know bad has to come before there is good. I just don’t want it to be where I find myself swimming with the fishes because I couldn’t control myself around my boyfriend. I guess being an adult is going to suck for me.

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